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Micah Parsons- There will be cursing. Grandma please scroll past.

I left this out last week because my brain was so fried from moving and the existential golf crisis I was going through. Micah Parsons will be a Dallas Cowboy for the prime of his career. He may go elsewhere for his 4th or 5th contract but the next two will be with Dallas. That being said, I am so goddamn tired of the way that Jerry Jones does business.

Micah Parsons is the best player the Cowboys have had in my sad lifetime as a fan of the team. He is the first player they have had at a premier position who has been a legitimate top 1 or 2 player at his position for his entire career. He is a monster, and the defense is 100x better with him on the field and in the locker room. The Joneses trying to coerce him into taking less money is total bullshit. They didn’t come with a plan and say we’re gonna get you a great DT to help you out so maybe you take a discount, they didn’t draft help around him on defense with premier picks. They did the same thing they did to Dak and Romo and Ware and on, and choose to save money for themselves rather than for surrounding talent to win. You can fuck around and play these games with B and C tier players, you don’t fuck around with your studs. Not to mention 26 year old studs who are about to reach their total prime. He should’ve been signed last summer. Tyler Smith should be signed already. They continually make fools of themselves and whether that’s their plan so people talk about their stupid fucking team in August or not, it’s not the way to win in the NFL. Howie Roseman on Pardon My Take made me want to throw my phone through the window of car. He has such a passion for teambuilding, and is the perfect GM not because he makes all the right moves, but he constantly finds ways to cover up the bad ones, and falls on the sword when they do fail. The Cowboys haven’t threatened anyone but their own fans in 30 fucking years. I’m 29 years old and my favorite playoff moment was a fucking wild card game in 2019.

And sure, we can wait Jerry out, but his son might be a bigger problem than him. He has all the “experience” of sitting on Daddy’s lap in the draft room, but if he wants to count that as experience now into his 60s, do you think any business would keep an executive with 30 years of failure on their resume? Sure, the money talks, people buy their shit and ESPN talks about the Cowboys. Do they think winning would make that stop? Seriously? There hasn’t been an earnest effort like the Rams or Eagles have made to bolster their rosters to try and win Super Bowls. I’ll give them credit for trading for George Pickens, but if you’re gonna dick around with Micah, go out of your way to say he’s been injured, when he’s played hurt and only missed a handful of games in 4 years, miss me with that bullshit. Trevon Diggs hasn’t been a model teammate but why throw shots at him for working out away from the facility? They drafted a guy who had the same injury before Trevon, he rehabbed in Dallas and he still isn’t on the field! He’s behind Diggs. WTF is that dude? The Cowboys lead the NFL All time in soft tissue injuries and horseshit, if the Joneses got off that high horse maybe they would step in if for once.

I make a trip to a game every year, I buy new gear, I wear the star. That’s my crutch to bear, I love the team, and the players, but particularly with the Jerry Jones slobber fest coming out on Netflix this month, I am so fed up with the current state of my favorite team.

I want them to win, I want Brian Schottenheimer to get his story book career started and redeem all the short comings of his father. I just don’t see it. I see the Micah thing dragging out, I see Jerry announcing the signing on the Day of the first game and adding more distractions to the most ADHD organization in pro sports. How can you focus on winning games and being successful when you’re the only two guys in the world watching fucking Get UP on ESPN to make sure they are talking about you.

Micah won’t be traded, he might not get signed this week, but they will do a deal that cripples them 3 years from now when they find the next guy to play poor with and blame their past contracts. If they did Dak two years ago, if they waited on Steele, if they swallowed their pride and admitted they fucked up taking Jaylon Smith, and Mazi Smith, and every other guy on earth with the last name Smith except Emmit and Tyron, we’d all be in a better place. What’s it going to take? You have a 30 year old QB who hasn’t been healthy 2 years in a row since he was in College, you have the best Edge Rusher in the NFL, you have 2 stud receivers, and you’re about to walk into Philadelphia with 3 dudes from Allen High School playing Cornerback.

Give a shit for once. Stop making it about you, stop trying to convince fans with retired beat reports that you’re in the right. It’s 2025 Pay your Stars, whether you want to believe it or not, they are bigger than the Star on your fucking lapel badge on your $10,000 suit. It’s not 1990. You’re not the cool innovator you thought you were because all the other owners were family money Cheese Farmers. The NFL is the biggest Casino in the world, you can’t walk up to the craps table and not play the odds when you get past the pass line. You’re just waiting for a 7 and waiting to say the dealer is looking at you funny. You wanna be “The Gambler” you wanna go down as a legend and not a joke to 80% of your fanbase? Pay your guy what he wants. Pay the next guy before he can ask for more, and cut your losses on your dumbass decisions. Hire a GM, don’t make your son your successor as the GM, and do things the hard things required to win, even if it costs you 10 minutes of Mike Greenberg talking about you.

Best Game I watched this week

I love the little league world series. I love the regionals and the high stakes for these kids. It’s pure euphoria and pure emptiness on the line in every game. This game was nuts and everything hilarious about Little League baseball. Got a dozen wild pitches, horrible umpiring in crucial moments (Fast forward to 13:00) and the entire game turning on a bevy of errors in extra innings. I love watching these games because it never reminds me of me not making the district team in 12 year old baseball that would’ve had a chance to make a run if they didn’t have the coach’s sons from each individual team on the team. I never think about that, it’s not the reason I have a chip on my shoulder and still have trust issues with authority figures at all.

Best Thing I Bought this Week

Podcast Episode of the Week

I’d never watched this show but it popped up on Spotify because Zac was the guest. He’s a complicated guy and definitely has some skeletons in his closet (google ex wife drama) but I’m a fan and I like seeing him in the real world just talking shit. I need to find a way to get to the Sphere. If I fall into some money I think I’m going to have to take my wife and go to Vegas for 2 shows on a quick 48 hour trip. I have to see that show.

Best Show I’ve Watched this Week

No shows, but I did stumble into watching the Departed on Netflix this week. I’ve been on a movie kick, and this is one of my all time favorites. It feels like the first time every time. Leo, Damon, Sheen, Nicholson, Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, everyone of them is so money throughout the movie and it’s just the best. When Shipping Up to Boston hits at the end my whole body gets chills. Just such a good movie.

Nostalgic Athlete of the Week

Little Different this week. As I’ve mentioned, we are launching a Picks app and a Podcast for the football season. Can’t wait to show you guys what we have in store and we have some real potential to blow this into something really cool, beneficial, and fun.

That being said I need to get some gear to wear on the show. I’m thinking of getting some obscure backup QB Jerseys, or those graphic tee shirts with random players. Here are some early contenders. If you have an old jersey you wouldn’t mind lending me for a show, lmk! If you know a site that specializes in these shirts let me know that as well.

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