Tully Tuesday's Volume 40, Rent is Due, and redrafting Thanksgiving Dinner

It’s the biggest week of the year, rent is due. And it’s time for Ohio State to restore serious order in the B1G ten and the greatest rivalry in sport.

I had a great time last weekend back in Columbus, we picked a perfect weekend to go, the weather was an Ohio gray for the ages, and warm enough for mid-November, and the Buckeyes brought the fire to the up-and-coming Indiana Hoosiers. I don’t really care about winning a National Title yet, I don’t care at all about winning the B1G. I care about winning Saturday, and I really care about winning by a large enough margin that a child will ask their dad in his disgusting yellow sweatshirt what happened, and the Dad has to lie to his child and say something other than, well son we don’t know their plays this year. Remember this, after Saturday Ohio State will have won 11 of the last 14 meetings between these two teams. In the era of real college football, Ohio State has dominated this series, and the next run of domination begins at noon on Saturday.

You can’t understand what this rivalry means from the outside. I’ve been scarred by the last three years, and I was just as bothered the year before when Michigan forfeited with a 3-3 record because they were “sick” the week of the biggest game of their season. Jim Harbaugh went 3-5 against Ohio State in his career. Urban Meyer was 7-0. These two things are not the same. Ryan Day deserves his shot to be cocky, to rub it in, and to relish in what should be the crowning moment of his tenure in Columbus so far.

He has dealt with all kinds of bullshit in his time in Columbus and has kept the team at the top of the National Championship conversation every year. He deserves this game on Saturday, and he deserves to make it as ugly and as bold of a statement that he wants. I want that for Ohio State, and I want that for Ryan Day. These are the games that turn players and coaches into legends, and I cannot wait for Rent to be Paid in merciless fashion on Saturday afternoon.

THANKSGIVING REDRAFT

Now in addition to the only football game that matters this weekend there is also a National Holiday. I am a Thanksgiving guy in terms of football and family, if you’ve been around me you know that I am quite particular and don’t like to waste a meal.

Thanksgiving is wonderful and a great tradition in my family and in American families across this beautiful country. I do enjoy Turkey, and Mashed potatoes and all the goods that come for Thanksgiving, but for this exercise we’re going to build a Thanksgiving dinner out of the best food that people eat on the other 364 days of the year.

Appetizers

Traditionally the appetizers are the closest to regular cuisine as you’ll get, maybe some pigs in a blanket, maybe a cheese plate. I’m a fan of both, but in the redraft scenario I’m swinging for the fences. I’m going with a Smoked Provolone with bacon fat, onions, pesto, and some sort of chimichurri. There is a restaurant I love in Maine that crushes this appetizer and I would love for it to get the main stream attention it deserves as an elite appetizer. This is a great app because it’s impossible to eat more than your fair share and get too full for dinner because everybody wants some. Maybe we sneak a gummy here as well, so as the Lions and Bears finish up there’s a little buzz filling the air before we need larger stomachs for the entrees.

While we have the smoker going let’s go a plate of bacon too. Just for kicks.

Sides

Before we get to the home run hitters I’m going to establish the run. You can keep your stuffing and mashed potatoes if you’d like, but I’m kicking it off with Penne alla Vodka right through the A-gap. One thing that pisses me off is the Instagram people touting this as “Vodka Pasta” Shut up. I’m talking Orange-Pink sauce, the happy medium between the two. Pancetta in the sauce, big ass chunks, D-Lineman sized hunks in there. Penne works, you want to get nuts and go Rigatoni? Go for it. I prefer the short rigatoni or Penne.

Also we got to have some bread for the leftover sauce in the bowl, give me a french roll, the long hot roll you can get at Market Basket. I live for that shit.

Creamed Spinach steakhouse style, little thin spinach in the sauce, I don’t want a bowl of leaves, I want this to be the consistency of a spread. Knock on wood if you’re with me. Onion Rings the size of your dog’s collar. Get in here. You want more pasta? Lobster Mac and Cheese.

Now that we’ve chalked up some serious yards on the ground lets hit the defense with some play action.

Main Course

My Appetizer gives a clue to where I’m going next. Three Parm combo. Eggplant for the nerds, Chicken for the kids, Veal Parm for the adults in the party. Thin cutlets you could play blackjack with, smothered in gravy, topped with fresh mozzarella. Let’s go, big spoons under each option, take one of each if you want to get crazy, it’s thanksgiving, that gummy has kicked in. Make it count.

You want to keep the Turkey in Thanksgiving like Christ at Christmas? Go for it, smoke it, get some seasoning in there, don’t forget the brine, that will cut through the red sauce just fine.

Stuffing you say? Sure let’s stuff some Meatballs in there, three sauces, Vodka Sauce, Marinara, Fra Diavolo.

Dessert

We’re up by 40 by this point. The Cowboys have just ruined their draft position by taking Tommy Cutlets and the Giants down.

Cut through the savory with a Banana Cream Pie, back it up with the classic Apple Crumb Pie. My family goes Chocolate Mousse, you can add in your traditional dessert here.

Overtime

Late night, drinks are flowing, naps are complete. Your aunt has finished her Kamala should’ve won speech. Now we need to get down to the Overtime sandwich. Take your french roll and split it, slide that chicken parm on the roll. Layer some of the leftover vodka sauce on the bottom of the bread. Throw it in the air fryer to re-establish the crunch. You wanna throw one of those meatballs on there? There’s no tomorrow. Black Friday is Chiefs-Raiders in the afternoon, you’re not watching.

This is how we win the day. Thanksgiving is a wonderful tradition, but football used to not have forward passes, we need some innovation.

I’ll finish with this. This Thanksgiving will be awkward in some homes, it will be the first for some who have lost family members and could be the last for others. Take the day to appreciate your family, your pets, your friends, take the Cowboys -4.

I’m personally very grateful for this community and the outlet that this column has given me in 2024 as we close in on a full year of Tully Tuesday’s, the feedback has been amazing and it’s very validating for myself to hear people enjoying a few minutes on Tuesday mornings of the free writes I have been doing, it’s given me energy, enjoyment, and helped me reconnect with friends I haven’t spoken with in years. Thank you for reading, and have a very Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving.